Setting a good example for children is a good place to start. However, parents must also be prepared to actively teach their children moral values. There are many ways in which parents can go about doing this, but following are some good ideas to start with:
You are supposed to read books together. Choose books in which right and wrong are clearly defined and read together as a family every single day. Be sure to also take some time to talk about what is being read so that children can ask questions, make comments and get the most from the story.
One should be selective about which videos and movies a child is permitted to watch. The Centre for Child Health, Behavior and Development at Seattle Children’s Research Institute did a study in which one group of children watched only shows that promoted good moral values while a second group of children continued to watch cartoons that contained violent and aggressive behaviors. It was found that the group of children who has watched more “pro-social” TV shows was noticeably less aggressive, more respectful and found it easier to get along with others than the group of children who continued to watch shows that contained or promoted violence and other immoral behavior.
One is recommended to talk about moral values in an off-hand and informal way. Use questions a child asks or comments he or she makes to impart moral value education to a child. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are good opportunities to teach children to honor and respect their parents and grandparents.
Get children involved in activities that help them to learn good moral values. Volunteer opportunities that are age appropriate for children can help them to learn the moral values of tolerance and responsibility. Sport activities can help children learn the importance of working together as a team. Assigning children chores that must be done on a daily or weekly basis is yet another very important aspect of character training.
In order to impart good character training to children, parents need to spend time with children. Even children who are outwardly rebellious are looking for someone that they can be close to and follow. If parents are not willing to make time for children then children are likely to turn to peers who may or may not be interested in behaving in a morally acceptable manner.
An important aspect of spending time with children is listening to them. Ask children open-ended questions that help you find out what they think and feel about something or someone. Taking the time to really listen to a child will help a parent know how to best help a child. Children who feel comfortable talking to their parents will also come to their parents for advice when faced with a moral dilemma that they are not able to handle on their own.
As children get older, they will start to rebel against moral values and other important things that the parents teach and promote. This is to be expected and parents should not be surprised when older children start to question moral values that they have believed in, since they were little. Instead, parents should anticipate such questions and challenges and be willing to answer them in a calm and clear manner.
Parents should never get angry at children who question or even challenge basic moral values such as hard work, tolerance and the like. Getting angry will not encourage a child to want to listen to what is being said. Furthermore, while anger may intimidate children into not questioning what their parents have to say, it will never make a child or teenager want to agree with their parents. It should be noted that the goal is not to raise “yes-men” but to teach children to embrace moral values not only in the short term but also the long term. The only way to reach this goal is to convince children of their own accord to want to behave in a morally sound manner.
Everyone makes mistakes. Even children who have been given a sound moral education will at times behave in a morally unacceptable manner. When this happens, parents must discipline the child but it is just as important for parents to let the child know that he or she is still loved.
Unconditional love must play a prominent role in parenting. Children must know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that their parents will love them no matter what they do or say or do not do or say. Parents should remind their children often that they love them and that nothing will ever change this fact.
It should be noted that consequences must be put in place when a child crosses over the boundaries. However, these should be enforced in a calm and loving manner so that a child understands that it is the behavior that is unacceptable, not the child as a person. Once the consequence has been given, then the incident should be put in the past. It should be forgotten about and not brought up again, even if the child makes the exact same mistake or a very similar one at another point in time.