Editor in Chief: Moh. Reza Huwaida Monday, October 15th, 2018

Do not be the Silent Half!


Do not be the Silent Half!

It is an undeniable fact that women form the half population of society, but nothing has been created to meet their needs. To view stores and markets, the bulk of customers are women who pursue their needs along with their children. However, the atmosphere is masculine. All objects are made on the basis of masculine idea, makers and sellers are men, but customers include men, women, and children. The patriarchal system is one of the reasons behind this fact and the society treat women unkindly and deem them as second class citizens.
Women follow the ruling custom when they hold the position of manager or executive. To ponder upon the issue, those women who hold higher position have been bestowed positive discrimination.
Men do not anticipate women to work at a high managerial level, this will be deemed a disdain for men. In case of an issue between men and women, men will not take the blame despite their mistake and will persist on their righteousness. The question is that where does this mentality originate from?
It is believed that such mindsets will transfer from family to community. Women are known inferior creature in families and girls are treated as interim members who belong to others. This is induced from our folklore as mothers lullaby their children with the same terms.
Being woman is really hard when everything is designed by men and for men, which might seem a symbolic sentence but it is an undeniable fact. There are not as many women as men in public places. For instance, you will hardly know a woman to work as a seller in a market. Only a few women work in private or governmental offices and their social activities are curtailed.
As it was mentioned, things are designed by men’s taste and for men. Women’s view and understanding are disparate with men’s. To desensitize the atmosphere, women’s view and need should be involved in designing things, which will be more elegant.
Women should represent themselves through their own words. Men have to support them in this respect. Women need to break their silence and express their views about dos and don’ts. If they do not express their views, no one will realize their needs. Unluckily, women show less tendency in taking part in speech ceremonies. A number of women do not dare express their ideas and deem themselves inferior to men. In short, women tend to be reticent for one reason or another. So, their feelings and need will remain in mystery.
Few days ago, one complained that when his spouse feels angry, she does not state the reason behind her anger and expects her husband to know it. Being angry is a normal practice in daily life but one has to make the reason clear. It is hard to read one’s mind. So, anticipating one to sooth our anger without knowing the factor will be unfair and fatuous expectation. Dialogue is the best way in this regard. It is rightly said, “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself”.
This is a small drop from the ocean of examples which is familiar to women and to some men, too. To resolve the issue, women should realize the fact that silence is not a panacea for one’s problem. If women are willing to have a share in society’s social issues, they have to choose a manner other than silence, which is called rational argument. On the other hand, men also should facilitate women to express their ideas and feelings.
Outlining this issue does not necessarily mean that women are unware of the condition, but it is because women have not realized to express their thoughts. Being subjugated in the family, they are used to obey and agree without words. In a traditional family, the salient feature of a woman is silence, patience, and obedience, whereas it will harm women, and even men and children in some cases.
I emphasize that women should not expect men to know the contents of their hearts. This is a selfish demand. Although we have been ordered to remain quiet but keeping our mouth shut will not be a solution to our problems. Dialogue and negotiation will solve big challenges. To insist on our silence, the atmosphere and structure will remain patriarchal and we will be marginalized from social issues. It is women to change the current structure through their lofty ambition.

Akiva ben Joseph says, “The tradition is a fence around the law; tithes are a fence around riches; vows are a fence around abstinence; a fence around wisdom is silence.” 

Fatima Faizi is the newly emerging writer of the Daily Outlook Afghanistan. She can be reached at the outlookafghanistan@gmail.com

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