I don’t remember very precisely but it was either shown in an English movie or was mentioned in a story that there lived a tribe that believed in the practice of very noble and dignified methods of living. Even when they fought with each other, they never let their honor or dignity crushed. They tried all their best to avoid any kind of conflict but when it became inevitable, they informed each other about the place and time of the fight.
They would then go there and fought with the enemy. It was taken care that such harm should not be inflicted that should cause long-lasting problem to each other like hitting on the head or destroying the eyes. When the fight was decided, they ran to help and rescue the injured. Before the fight and in its continuation, it was taken care that no teasing words should be used against each other.
As a result of all these, when the fight was over, the relations usually got strengthened. The one who was healthy visited and asked about the injured. The one who was injured liked the kindness of his visitor who was concerned about him. The one who visited the injured was moved by his condition and he felt more pity to him. All these combined together to establish an air of love and consideration.
It is the reason why such fights were felt necessary because they brought a new life in the weakening relations of the tribe members.
They were in the habit of forgetting about the misunderstanding and conflict on the spot and never kept these unhealthy feelings in their memories.
The bad feelings or memories are like a virus that needs to be killed right in the beginning. As a virus is weak when it is born so it can be killed easily but if it is not controlled, it grows very rapidly and soon turns out to be gigantic and strong. Then it becomes very difficult to cure this virus and thus more effort is needed.
When we forget the injustices of others on the spot, it acts like eliminating the virus on the spot of its production. But if we fail to do so, it grows like a big snake and soon results in a clash that leaves behind many families bereaved.
World is getting smaller day by day and we soon discover that a stranger we met was a friend of our friend or relative. It is necessary that we should behave with people in a way that we should be able to face him or her in case if he or she turned out to be a friend of our friends or relatives.
A teacher of mine used to tell that first you should avoid hurting anyone’s feelings and in case if you fell into a disagreement with someone, then you should do it in a way that you should not feel ashamed if you met the person in your life again.
A man had a very strange habit. Whenever he got angry of someone, he used to insult him in the worst manner. He acted as if he would never meet the person again in his life. But at times he met the same person again on different turns of life and thus felt very ashamed of what he had done.
Similar to this, a person was always in need of technical persons for running his factory. At times he got angry of his employee and kicked him out of the factory in the most insulting manner. As such technical experts were very rare so at times he was left without any expert.
In order to run his factory, he was left with no other option except to go and bring back the person whom he had previously expelled in the most insulting manner. As he knew what he had done previously so it was very difficult for him to bring back the person. Facing the person and talking to him was very difficult and he felt sorry for his conduct and rude manners.
In old times, a merchant sent his son to go to market and look for a specific commodity.
When this young merchant reached to the market, he saw that a commodity was going to be sold that was going to make huge profit for them. He wanted to inform his father before getting into a deal but time was short so he himself made the deal and bought the commodity. When he reached to his father, he was expecting appreciation. When he informed his father about his deal, he got angry and without checking the thing, started shouting at him and scolded him a lot.
Later on when the temper of merchant cooled down, he went to the camels and checked the commodity. He saw that his son had made a very good deal and soon it was confirmed by the other merchants as well who were offering them good profit. The merchant repented a lot on what he had done and decided not to shout on anyone without knowing the exact situation.
In our families and in our surroundings, there may be many who may be in habit of losing their temper without knowing the exact situation. Such people not only lose the loyalty of good friends and companions, they also create a lot many problems to themselves. Such an attitude is very dangerous for a businessman who can make great loss by this inadvertent and heedless habit.
There is a Persian saying that I would like to quote in its original words that, “Jang kun jung kun, raah-e-aashti ra bamaan” which means fight with your enemy but always leave a way or possibility of salvation and reconciliation. The same enemy may be needed some day by you so you should not chop down all the connections and not finish every possibility of meeting him again.
These three lessons might not be new but having a look at our present day attitudes, we need to revisit these time and again:
1. You might get into disagreement with others but never forget that you should do it in a way that you should be able to face the person if you had to meet him again at any stage of life.
2. Never lose your temper without knowing the reality of something.
3. Never store the painful memories of a conflict and never breed antagonistic feelings against someone.
With all these in mind, it is hoped that you would not get into an insulting situation where you won’t be able to face a person.