Editor in Chief: Moh. Reza Huwaida Sunday, April 28th, 2024

We Need To Be Careful

|

We Need To Be Careful

It would be unfair to make this problem limited to some people and would be really awkward to mention specifically someone's name in this regard but it is more or less present in almost every person. Usually it is noticed when a person is introduced or he introduces himself to others.

When we introduce someone to others, we usually try to give his better picture or it may be due to the presence of the same person that we avoid anything negative. So when a person is being introduced, mostly the qualities are mentioned which are related to the person's career or material achievements like his present job position, his social status and his academic achievements are stated in a bit highlighted manner.

Similarly, when a person introduces himself, he unnecessarily describes those things which may not be needed at the time. For example, when we introduce ourselves to a newcomer from a village, it would be useless to mention our PhD degree or our articles in international magazines but anyhow, we cannot stand the intense desire to mention them.

In our daily lives, we continuously meet the people who unnecessarily introduce themselves without realizing the need or sensitivity of the occasion. He fails to realize that his words come very strange to others and later on they laugh at the stupidity of the person.

No doubt, we must mention our qualities and achievements when it is direly needed and when it is going to sound logical and necessary. In the same way, it is also a good habit to mention some good personal qualities of a person while introducing like, "He is a very kind person", or "He is a helpful friend" or others like these because such statements have resulted in the increase of love and intimacy among the people and resulted in the exchange of well-wishes between them.

The above mentioned problem does not seem to be much serious but if left unchecked, it may lead to serious personal and psychological complexities that might ruin the overall impression of your personality.
In order to realize the seriousness of this issue, we need to understand how it affects you in your daily routine and how difficult it is going to be when we start the remedy of this.

When I recollect my past memories, I realize that I myself had this fatal personal problem. The word 'realized' must be stressed here because in all those years when I had this disease, I had failed to notice its presence and had carried it with for a number of years and allowed it to nourish. Anyhow, when I start the assessment of my words, attitudes and behavior of past, I become dead sure that the disease had spread a lot.

The scenario mentioned above only shows the example of situation when we get introduced to each other but this habit doesn't stop here. I remember, once I had to give an example about chores that we carry out in our daily life and I gave the example that we have a garden which is too big to be managed and I don't like working in our yard. Later on, I realized that this example was not necessary, though I had not made any kind of exaggeration in this statement.

Similarly, there was a lesson about eating out and menus of different restaurants. A couple of days before this I had visited one of the famous and most expensive restaurants of the city. In order to explain the situation, I mentioned the visit of this restaurant with friends and then I described different features of menu and food. Once again, there was nothing that we could have termed to be a lie or exaggeration in this statement but anyhow, in the lateral assessment of my words, I found parts of them to be unnecessary.

The biggest problem that lies in this case is the desire that makes you exaggerate or describe things related to your personality or life. In most of the cases, we may be breeding and nourishing this desire without realizing of what we are doing. In such a case, you may be having a problem but you will not be able to notice its presence and carry out necessary remedy for it.

This also shows certain good qualities lacking in your personality. First, you are not confident enough of your own personal qualities that you expect or desire some kind of external appreciation or exaggeration to see yourself good. Secondly, your thoughts or ideas are not mature enough that they should prefer personal qualities over the material gains.

A person might work for many decades to broaden his mind, expand his thoughts and develop a sound and sensible personality but if you accept the material or external things as the basis of respect and importance, anyone who can earn good money in a couple of years or more will deserve to be called a respectable or honorable. But there lies a good paradox in this case; with the help of money or external appearance, one may be able to win the fake respect or importance in the society but he himself never feels contented with this and thus at times, he expresses his complex of inferiority comparing to the well-educated or civilized in many different forms.

As mentioned above, this disease of thinking about you and showing yourself important may be invisible or unnoticeable in the beginning and if not cured, many different emotional or personal complexities may stem from it. You may develop the habit of telling lies because most of the lies are not told for some gain but for narrating something unreal or exaggerated. Such a habit may also degrade you in the eyes of others because when you speak too much, you may give statements that might be colliding with each other and people would discover that you are in a habit of giving false statements.

The only and effective remedy of this disease is to be humble and negate your desire to show yourself important. Always think that you will be respected and given importance if you have your qualities and there is no need of bringing them to the notice of people.

The remedy of it is not easy to be followed. Time and again you will realize that you have committed again the blunder that you were thinking of controlling. That's why you need to work time and again for this and keep a constant check on it.

Mohammad Rasool Shah is the permanent writer of the Daily Outlook Afghanistan and teaches English at Afghan-Turk School, Kabul. Email your suggestions and opinions at muhammadrasoolshah@gmail.com

Go Top