Many years ago, a friend of mine asked my advice to admit his son in a good and well-reputed English Language institute. I did not know that he may be having a son old enough to join any English language institute because he himself was in his mid-thirties and looked even younger. But when I met his son, I found him to be 12-13 years old and had an intelligent look at his face but moreover, the thing that immediately caught my attention was a strange and invisible violence or agility in his every movement and gesture.

I presumed it to be the over-activeness that is naturally found in some children or it may be due to the extra attention or love that makes the children a bit proud and in some cases, having inappropriate behavior as well. In some circumstances, when every wish and desire of a child is followed like an order, the child develops some behavioral problems.

Anyhow, my following confrontations with this kid brought some new discoveries about the behavior of children. Once, I visited them on Eid and had tea and good discussion with my friend, his father. I asked about his son’s progress in studies and he did not seem to be much happy with that. He started complaining that he doesn’t give proper attention to his studies and all the time remains busy with his useless friends and other similar complaints which are a routine with such illiterate parents.

Then he started mentioning that he had provided him with all the facilities and he worked day and night for his welfare. When he used the words, ‘day and night’, I at once got a shock. With some indirect questions, I found out that he remained very much busy in his business and hardly ever met his son in a week.

Then every passing day expanded the gulf that had evolved between the father and his son. As he was never present at home and his mother was not able to control the kid so after a month or two, when a complaint was brought forward against his son, he used to beat him badly and shouted at him that, ‘I have provided you with each and everything but you are not realizing the true worth of these and I am doing all these for your better future but you are not understanding these.’ He had forgotten that his son needed him more in present than the future and that his future was going to be built on a sound present.

With adolescence, there came a number of changes in the kid and he no more remained a kid. His voice had changed and so was his physique and with all these, his behavior had become more arrogant and violent. Whenever he was beaten, he would start a words-fight with his father and strongly protested against it but he was never listened to duly and father always declared him to be ill-mannered.

Then one day, we all heard that his son had run away from the house and now nobody knew about his whereabouts. The cries of mother made everyone sad. When one day, his father told me about all the things that are mentioned above, I understood the base of the problem. His father had also realized his mistake and now he repented on his attitude but it was too late.

Time kept passing and then we came to know that his son had joined some robbers or thugs in a disturbed part of the country.

Whenever I observe the present situation to the day when I first met him as a teenage student, I get really surprised and puzzled. He was an intelligent student, neatly dressed, confident and responsible-looking and in the end, he finished up as a robber and his father was not in position to go and bring back his lost son.

This is not the only story of its kind. There was a famous and rich distributor of milk. His only problem was that, he had developed an opinion that in order to keep your children in your control, you need to be very strict to them. It was strange that although having dozens of workers for the supply of milk, he forced his son to take a bike and supply the milk to the customers in different parts of the city. It was a bit humiliating to his son as his class-fellows used to laugh at him in school, but he had never talked to his father directly so reluctantly, he kept doing this unpleasant job. Then we noticed that, he was not given enough pocket money and had developed habit of stealing the money from his father. Many a times, his father caught him and beat him but he did not try to find out why his son did such a shameful work.

Although he had a lot to say, but the arrogant style of his father never let him to express himself and the lava kept accumulating in his heart and mind. This lava had all the factors that can be termed frightening; frustration, anger, hatred, jealousy, revenge and many others.

But this young man was not courageous enough to revolt rather he chose another way. He started taking addictive drugs and one day, when his father discovered about this, he beat him badly again and ordered him to stay at home.

With this his educational career came to an end but this restriction was not enough to keep him at home. In the absence of his father, he would sneak out of the house and would take his drugs and return home. The kind mother could not resist his pledges soaked in tears and silently let him go out. After a few days, father came to know about this as well and this time, he badly punished both his son and his wife. Then he brought chains and chained his son in one of the rooms. Many months passed and one day, I happened to visit his house on an occasion.

When we were busy in taking tea, his son came and shook hands with us and silently left the room. The view was so shocking that none of us could speak for some moments and there was a sheer silence in the room. His two legs were chained tightly and he could hardly walk and he had no more remained mentally sane and normal. We had just met a mentally-retarded and crazy person. Everyone was sad about it and then we looked at his father who had started crying and the man who always appeared to be strong and agile, looked very weak and old. There was nothing to say and we quickly finished the tea and left the place.

Many of you might not believe that still such fathers exist in present day societies but it is the tragedy of illiterate societies that centuries of illiteracy has brought into existence such beliefs that cannot be accepted by any logic or cannot be supported by any kind of religious or cultural beliefs. In cities, light of education has brought positive changes in perceptions and behaviors of people about children and women but in majority of the urban areas, people are having same old beliefs that existed many centuries before and majority of them can be termed to be very cruel and inhumane.

These established sets of beliefs and traditional thinking approaches can’t be changed easily but important thing is this, anyone who has understood the complicacies created by such orthodox beliefs should try to convey and carry the light of understanding to others and this duty should be done incessantly. We cannot expect much evident result out of this effort but anyhow, it can work as a remedy until the light of education and understanding wipes away the very basis of these beliefs based on illiteracy and ignorance.