In childhood, an inexperienced child believes in whatever he sees or hears. It happens because a child doesn’t have any prior experience and his knowledge about the people, or events or any other thing is limited so he fails to comprehend a situation considering all its details. It is the reason why, children are considered to be innocent and with the same innocence, they believe that people or events around them are also innocent. Like me, you might have also developed a lot many beliefs and ideals about people or situations. I was especially a fan of one of my father’s friends whom I believed to be perfect in all regards. He had a charismatic personality, with impressive health and a good taste of clothes and perfumes. He was rich and ran a successful business of his own.
He was very much social and soon controlled the gathering in which he sat by his witty and refreshing comments and had strong verbal capabilities to give good points and persuade the other person in a discussion. He had a very good choice of selecting cars and his house was very beautiful and modern. All these things combined to make a picture that impressed me a lot and it was my desire to become like him when I grow up. But with the passage of time, few small cracks appeared in this beautiful picture and they were due to some of the discoveries that I came to know when I got mature a bit.
Though he was a perfect person from all the regards but he had a habit that his good image plummeted and I had to look for another person to take as an ideal. Though he was married and had a pleasant family with a beautiful and loving wife and two cute children but he had developed the habit of spending most of his time outside his house and thus gave very less or no time to his house and family members. His family had each and everything of life but they longed for the attention of the head of the family. Children always missed their father on dinners and other occasions and even he could not reach to the important gatherings of their school. He was not in love with someone or developed any immoral relations with others but he could simply not sit at home and spend time there.
In the same way, one of our neighbors was a perfect man in the beginning. He had a lot many qualities as mentioned earlier. Moreover, he was a very religious and pious person and was given good respect in the vicinity. But he had another problem; he was very strict with his family members and always kept them under his constant and authoritative control. Contrary to the first person, he used to spend most of his time at home and always interfered in the issues of the members of family. He would check what the children watched on television, how much oil his wife used in the kitchen and other small things. Because of his habits, he family members prayed that he should go out and remain out of the house for some time. On such a time only, they were able to feel relaxed inside the house.
I was also a great admirer of another person who had great knowledge and whenever he spoke, people used to listen to his words with utmost attention and admiration. He was having a very good job and had good social status and many more. Time and again, he appeared on television and wrote for a newspaper. He remained my ideal until I saw him losing his temper on something and scolding the other person in a way that did not suit such a polite and educated person. At once, his beautiful statue collapsed and turned into small pieces. This was another shock for the series of my ideals and then I developed a belief that I might never come to find a person who should be perfect from all regards.
After the childhood was over and increased knowledge of the world and people brought me the true picture of people and events, I was much disappointed from the people around me as now I had turned into a machine that detected the defaults in people and the shortcomings in the personalities of others always injured my prior perceptions.
These personal traits and shortcomings became a topic of lengthy conversations with my friends. Then we developed a theory called, ‘Life in boxes.’
According to this, every individual’s life is divided into different boxes in which we can place any quality associated with his or her life. These qualities are innumerable because nature has gifted every human being with a unique personality and thus qualities in him are also unique but there are some qualities which are common to all. These are sincerity, ethical perception and practices, patriotism, optimism, hard work, intelligence, financial achievements, academic qualification, social status, physical appearance, religious pithy, social adaptability and confidence and many more. Some may be having some unique qualities like musical appreciation, appreciation of literature, or similar traits that change from person to person. It differs from a person to person that how many of these boxes are filled and how many are empty. It is also possible that some boxes may be partially filled.
Some of these boxes are given more importance in our present day world like economic stability, physical appearance, social status and others while some are given least or no importance like ethical considerations, sincerity and similar traits.
For having a truly happy and contented life, it is necessary that all these boxes should be given due importance and we should try our best to fill them up. For example, if one is highly qualified and has impressive social status, it would be very disappointing if his social adaptability qualities are poor and cannot easily interact with others. In the same way, a person who has fully stuffed his box of wealth but if he doesn’t have any religious pithy or ethical considerations, he may not be considered a successful person.
The above theory became very interesting in case of some of the Hollywood actors or with the case of famous public speaker Dale Carnegie who earned good wealth and had wide-spread fame and respect but their social lives were very much disturbed. The reason for the suicide of Dale Carnegie and a large number of Hollywood actors and actresses is given to their unsatisfied social lives.
Same was the case with Margaret Thatcher, the longest ruling prime minister of 20th century and first woman prime minister of England who was very successful in politics but when it came to her personal life, she was one of the loneliest and unhappy persons on earth due to some of her habits. This fact has been depicted in the movie made about her and also in her autobiography.
It is a fact that we will never be able to fill up all the boxes and become a perfect person but even then we need to keep checking the status of the boxes of our lives and do our best keep them in balance. Only the vigilant checking would ensure our success in this regard.