I am told to embrace the life however the fate brings to me. My tear should not roll down my cheek when an angry fist touches my fair and feeble body or if I am painfully bludgeoned to death. I am told that I am doomed to digest the rage of my husband and swallow back the burst of emotion pressurizing to untie the torturing knot of my throat. I am told not to reveal the sob story of my life and it is a toss-up which is put by destiny ahead of me whether to choose life or death. I am told ‘I am a girl!’
I am told my husband, who will be my ever-opponent, will foul repeatedly in the game of life; however, I have no option other than giving him chance after chance. I am told not to frown upon the violent temper of my husband and he will be the only god of my food and clothing at home. I am told… I am told I should hide the bruises of my face, which will be caused by the cruel slap of my husband, from my family. I am told… I am told ‘I am a girl!’
When I was child I wished to go to school with my brother, but I was stopped for being a girl. When my father was giving money to my brother to go outside to buy something for him and enjoy with his friends, I was looking wistfully and resisting hardly against the burst of my feelings. Meanwhile, the insulting look of my father was enough to remember me that ‘I am a girl.’
When I dare go out, the street boys make fun of me, insult me, tease me …. Then, I remember that I am a girl. When I return home, my mother pinches me, my father kicks me and my brother insults me. They say, ‘Girls are not supposed to step outside.’ Even, I am stopped from laughing loudly and I am told I am a girl.
I am exhausted of all the voices dripping with sarcasm, bitter words of abuse, foul languages, and of scornful looks and all the hurting attitudes running against me. What can a girl do, who is knee-deep in mental and physical torture, other than committing suicide? My friends burn themselves and commit suicide in one way or another; however, my Islamic beliefs turn me against them and I disagree that way. I am told that if a person commits suicide s/he turns heretic and I don’t want to be heretic after all the suffering, but I am really fed up with all what I said.
When I am in privacy I find myself facing a lot of questions. Whenever pondering over questions, different thoughts flash through my mind. Sometimes I say it is just my luck! Sometimes I think that girls are inferior to boys but soon I remember when I overheard a clergy saying that man and woman are equal in Islam. Is it the traditional culture of my village rooting in the illiteracy and ignorance of my parents and hundreds of such ilk who give more priority to their traditions than religious beliefs? I ask myself. It seems that I get closer to the answer. Of course, it is this. When I fall into thinking again, I feel furious with the superstition when I was told, ‘It is dignity for a girl who goes with a white scarf to her husband’s home and comes out with a white shroud.’ The more this sentence resounds in my ears the angrier I feel. Then I sigh with deep grief murmuring with me, ‘What a bitter and painful superstation!’
However I think, my thought cannot convince me that I am inferior to my brother. I think that I am the mother of my children, the daughter of my father and mother, the sister of my brother, and I am never inferior to man. I think that being a girl is no fault at all. I think that my dignity never lies in suffering the mental and physical tortures of my family and society silently. I never accept disrespect and insult for being a girl. I raise my voice against all injustice and cruelty exerted on girls for their physical differences. No! I am not inferior!
I have a message to the society and to all the families who can hear me that being a girl is no fault. I tell you with burning emotions that never disrespect your mother, your sister or your daughter just for being a girl! I tell you rightly that Islam holds a great respect and high dignity for women. I tell you with full confidence that man and woman are equal in Islam! I tell you that the mother of Prophet was a woman; the daughter of Prophet was a girl and Prophet was treating them with great respect and deep affection. Mahatma Gandhi, the father of nation in India, says very truly regarding woman and I would like to quote his statement, “woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacities. She has the right to participate in the minutest details in the activities of man, and she has an equal right of freedom and liberty with him.”
Hence, marginalizing women from social life, enervating their roles in the society and depriving them of their certain rights are big bias against them. Moreover, discrimination on the ground of race or gender is forbidden in Islam. Our Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) says, “Paradise is under the feet of mother.” Thus this holy statement smacks of a high status of women in Islam. Of course, the effective role of woman in the home and her vital role in the society is beyond any doubts. I emphasize again that those who exert mental or physical torture on women are the cruelest people in the society.