Today while I was travelling by public vehicle three stylish girls, wearing tight jeans, shiny sunglasses, small skirts, strain of hairs flowing down to their chicks, came and sat on the back seats. Without caring male passengers, they started talking about boys and girls, like who is the boyfriend of whom and who is the girlfriend of whom? But when finally they got out of the car, I rubbed my eyes twice to watch them! Believe it or not I could believe that they are the same girl who minutes ago came and sat right behind me. There was no sign of those stylish girls anymore. They looked shabby, wearing long black veils which covered them from head to toes.

I turned my head and asked the person beside me if they were the same girls who minutes ago got into the vehicle? “Yes they are”, he replied. They were long just like Iranian female scholars, wearing a small white veil and then putting on a long black robe. If the appearance shows the character of a person, that what it would be? Changing from, let’s say, a westernized girl into a pious, Qom educated religious scholar?

I am not a sociologists or psycho-sociologists to provide an in-depth explanation of contradictory appearance that many Afghan girls particularly in big cities follow but I notice that such “dichotomy” in the lives of many people.  For example, once we had a trainer he was telling us that if you do not support women rights and do not do that. You can go into your own houses and expect your wives, sisters or mothers have prepared everything for you.  But as far as you are in the any organization, you have to pretend that you are the staunch supporter of women rights. This double faces perhaps can be find at any humanitarian society, however, different level of intensity. But I think it is changing into a serious problem in Afghanistan. On one hand, the modern values, such freedom of expression, freedom of religion and etc. but on the other hand, the deep rooted tradition to act differently. For example, when a girl or boy wants to rent a room for himself/herself, first of all people avoid to rent their houses to them, reasoning that he/she alone or single. But when someone also gets ready will try their best to ensure that the girl or the boy should be very pious. A Proper girl, in the traditional context, is a girl who has no contact with boys unless they are her relative. Connection with any boy and on any account can seriously affect the way people will view or behave. Same is the case with families. Freedom particularly in psychological context as any female should have the right to wear whatever she wants or communicate with anyone she likes is really attractive for male in general.  Those who succeed to talk to her, laugh and have fun will encourage her for further western style. She will get appreciated for breaking the taboos of the society and act independently in a male dominated society. But from the very moment she avoids to “flirt”, in Afghani context, foul languages start to rain on her.

In other words, presently common people behave with the issue of Hijab or clothing style differently. First of all, they all abhor that their wives or daughters wear unsuitable clothes like tight jeans and short skirts. But in the case of females who are related by blood, they are also divided. Those who can flirt and make contact will appreciate them with appreciative words such as: “oh, what a nice cloth, beautiful, and etc. But those who cannot say fish from the pool will behave angrily, using foul languages while crossing or using abusive words when talking about such girls.

Somehow similar behavior is observed among educated layers of the society. As Dr. Sima Samar, the chief of women rights commission once told that we (Afghans) want democracy for our neighbors not for ourselves. (She did not mean by democracy the form of government but personal liberty in a family. Unlike countries where the family structures are in manner that does not restrict the liberty and freedom of the family members, here is family structure has a very tight hierarchical establishment. Individuals are restricted by do and don’ts of elder, head of the family or just being a male. )

So, the educated and even the staunch supporters of women rights and liberty act differently in the society and their house. They want women for example whatever kind of clothes she likes but when it reaches to his wife for example, she does not have the right to wear clothes which may look inappropriate in Afghan culture.

Hence, such double behaviors are becoming more visible. Girls who flirt with boys and have boyfriends but stare at girls in reprimand perhaps to acquit themselves from the justice court of tradition. That is why you observe a western, stylish girl and you find the same girl similar to a clergy just within minutes.